I don't really do anything. I have zero ambition to improve. I just exist. I read a lot. Play some games. Watch youtube videos. Work when I can, but haven't since the pandemic. (Uber/Lyft driving)
I have the ability to get a good paying job. But I don't care to. I'd rather not work. I don't need much beyond food, a room, a car, and a good internet connection. So why kill myself with a stressful job? I work barely enough to get by and enjoy my abundance of free time.
My latest thing is watching young women watch old movies and give their reaction. It makes me happy watching them get happy over watching something good. This is something I would want to do if I had an actual girlfriend. But obviously I don't get any of the physical benefits of this and it just makes me sad. It's like having a relationship but it only one way and they make money off it. It's onlyfans but even more pathetic.
My parents are dead. I live with roommates. Not friends. Just a craigslist shared house. I just try to keep to myself and not get in anyone's way or cause any drama.
My sister lives in Florida with her kids and husband. My brother is living in an assisted living home because he is too stupid to take care of himself.
I'm pretty much alone. I'm generally ignored because I'm not attractive.
Even if I somehow got a girlfriend I doubt anything would change in the long term. Nobody wants to date me when I have my best foot forward. They aren't going to want to date me when they know my real problems. They don't want to date me when they don't even know how deep the rabbit hole goes.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.